I always feel guilty when I haven’t updated in awhile. It’s kind of like when you mean to return a library book, and then you forget, and the due date comes and goes, and you eventually feel too embarrassed to even go back to the library because you know they’re all judging you, like, Oh look, it’s little Miss Breaks Her Promises. I guess I’ve never given an actual specific promise to the internet that I’d write here, but– maybe I have. Actually. I probably did at some point. I can’t imagine in five years and that many New Years I haven’t guaranteed consistent blogging entertainment. YIKES. This is awkward.

I’m going to just gloss over why I was gone so long. Suffice to say, it was private family business (not immediate family), and it seems to have played out as well as it possibly could. Jason is fine. He is gainfully and happily employed. I think this was everyone’s immediate concern when I said there was drama– that we had lost our income, and I was scrambling to make ends meet. Actually, really, thank God for the job right now. We have never really had money before. I haven’t, at least. I grew up poor and then eventually made it into middle class, and by the time my parents came into their own money, I’d moved out with Jason. They bought The Huge House (the six bedroom one), and I lived there– I think maybe three or four months before I got kicked out. And even during that time, I was working. Heh. So it wasn’t like I was swimming in cash, either. I was waiting tables, and most of the extra money went to college supplies. Then we were newlyweds with a baby, then– right about the time things were turning around financially– Addie came, and with it, the NICU and specialist bills. Then– new house. Right now, we are finally doing really well. And I have to give a shout-out to Jason’s work here, because they are taking good care of him. I love his company.

Here’s something, though. The mentality of being poor never goes away. Michelle and I used to tease our mom mercilessly because she would cut coupons and buy thrift store clothes even when they were making bank. She would never buy clothes from the normal rack. Only clearance. Super-clearance, if it existed. Michelle used to say the shirts she had were so cheap that they were only good for a single wear, because they’d fall apart in the wash. Like, that was HILARIOUS to us. And now– not so funny. I’m shaking my head at Old Becca while I write this. It is NO JOKE, dude. It is NO JOKE having to buy clearance stuff. If you do it long enough, it doesn’t even seem fun to go crazy shopping. It just feels wasteful. You have that desire to store money like squirrels store nuts for the winter; just in case there’s a famine again.

I’ve been able to spend a little of the tax return on fun things. I bought myself a new cell phone (though I did go pay-as-you-go, to save). The phone itself is tiny and basic, but I at least don’t worry about being stranded somewhere without a lifeline anymore. That was my anniversary/Valentine’s present. I bought Jason the Warcraft expansion, which he was thrilled about. Our anniversary is in two days– six whole years married. We have nothing planned. Not a thing. He took off Friday and next Monday, because apparently we thought we needed four days to celebrate. Maybe I really believed I was going to Tahiti or something. Nope. We’ll probably just be hanging out here in sweats, eating cereal and watching our ‘Mad Men’ discs. I don’t even care that much because six years isn’t a really cool anniversary. One year was exciting, five years felt like a milestone. Ten will be awesome. Six is just sort of EH.

It seems like so much has happened in the last week, and I can’t think of anything now. I tried to sign Elias up for soccer (did I mention he’s doing that instead of T-ball now? he changed his mind), and we were told we now live in a different city. So we’re not residents anymore, and we have to pay a non-resident fee. Whaaaa? Our address and post office didn’t change, but apparently their computer says we got annexed. I can’t believe how expensive children are– let me just put that out there. When you have babies, you always think once they’re out of diapers and formula, you’ll have all this extra income. False. It always goes SOMEWHERE. If not sports, then you are dropping cash on birthday parties for their friends. Elias goes to like two or three birthdays a month now– $25 a gift. You do the math. I am paying as much for his social status as I do for electricity.

Also, Elias has become terrified of tornadoes. I don’t know where it came from, but it’s there now, full force. He has spent every recess for the last week crying that a cyclone was going to suck him up. He told me tonight he asked the teacher’s assistant, Mrs Y, to call me so I could come pick him up from school and keep him safe, but was denied. On one hand, I can understand why she thought the call was not necessary. Seeing as it has been 75 degrees and sunny. On the other hand, man. Hearing your kid think you can keep him safe from a TORNADO makes you feel like a rock star.

Addie is still Addie. She spends most of her time playing tricks on people, dressing up, eating applesauce, and narrating daily events.

I’m about to head to bed. My back and arms are killing me. I had this brilliant idea to climb all over one of the kids’ playgrounds yesterday, and, newsflash: I’m too old for playgrounds. Heh. My body does not bend that way anymore. I spent today just resting; tinkering with a new theme and editing the novel. I’m toying with the idea of doing an online serial with ‘Zombiefighter’, which would be fun. I don’t know. I’m just ready for change. I’m eager for a new project. (And yes, this new theme will totally have comments. I don’t know what I was thinking, taking them off. It sucks not hearing from you guys. I missed you. A lot.)

I just remembered the other reason my forearms hurt– I downloaded some Offspring tracks for Rock Band. If you want to be humbled, I recommend playing guitar on “Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)“. If you want to be humbled, and in pain.