Last day of September. Becky Jo and I were talking last night– way, late, deep into the night– about how time really does fly, and as a kid, a month is this huge chunk of your life and it stretches further, but as an adult it becomes a smaller and smaller measurement, and you just breeze through a calendar in no time.

Jason has been working this entire weekend, almost non-stop. He was tinkering around remotely all Friday, early Saturday, Saturday afternoon, and went in Saturday evening to fix the network. Saturday evening turned into Sunday morning. Yep. Seven thirty this morning, he came home. Seven thirty. After the kids woke up. He slept until three, then went back into the office. Home in time for dinner. Back online now.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it or not– I forget who I tell my asides to– but Jason is up for a promotion, and MAN ALIVE does he deserve it.

The video store around the corner closed. It was out of the blue, no forewarning. J went to drop off a ‘Lost’ disc, and there was a big sign out front that basically read: NOT HERE ANYMORE. SORRY. LEAVE THE MOVIES. I was really bummed not only because I liked that store– not only because I hadn’t finished ‘Gilmore Girls’– but because I promised Becky Jo that we had the video membership, so no matter what– when she came to visit: “We’ll always have the movie store!”

She luckily didn’t mind. Heh. You know how that is; those people that you could just sit in a blank white room with and have a good time. We’re both so insanely excited to see each other. At one in the morning, we were cry-laughing over Becky Jo asking about buying Lola, and me telling a backstory involving Kenny, My First Dog, that went on for forty minutes and didn’t answer her question at all. I SO got that from Jason. You’ll never get a straight answer from that guy. Just circular tall tales.

I was supposed to go to a new church with our neighbors this morning– I’d promised for weeks, before we found our current church home– but the family needed to be in the car by eight. I got to bed at four, was up at six, and Jason– as forementioned– drove in at seven thirty. Addie had just gone down to sleep for the first time. It wasn’t happening. I walked over there, looking like a bus hit me, all, “I’m sorry, but none of us can handle a car ride right now.”

We ended up going to our church, three hours later. I packed the kids up myself so J could continue to rest. The church is collecting household items for a homeless family, and I brought a box of baby toys and the pack-n-play to donate. It was really hard for me to give up the pack-n-play. I won’t lie. I struggled with it. We never use it, ever, but it reminded me of all those first days home from the hospital with Addie; back when every day she woke up again was a miracle. It also sort of cemented that we aren’t planning on having any more children. I’m more sad about that than I thought I would be.

But. This other family has NOTHING, they need it, and I wanted to donate something worthwhile and new and loved. I’m not trying to pass off junk onto these people. I really wanted to contribute to them.

Sermon was rad. Per usual. I can’t believe how much I like these sermons– honestly, adult church used to be like a dental appointment. The idea of this whole Sermon Series was the fruit of being a believer: the ways in which you change in your behavior when you’re changed in spirit. It’s really interesting. Each week is a particular trait: joy, peace, love, kindness, faithfulness. This week’s was gentleness. I didn’t know how they were going to approach it, but the pastor’s idea was that God not only accepts everyone as we are, but thinks that we are precious and important, even at our worst moments, even when we’re screwing up, even with our flaws. He doesn’t see damages, he sees this amazing artwork underneath– something that was created in His image, and is wholly good. So, if we believe that, as Christians, we need to look at others as not an annoyance, a hindrance, a stereotype, but people who are worthwhile, and who have their own stories. STORIES just struck a chord in me. I believe that so deeply. That every person is coming from somewhere, and you need to give them that benefit of the doubt. We want people to be gentle with us. We always think we’re important. We’ve had a rough week, our traffic was terrible, we didn’t sleep well, we’re having trouble financially, we’re going through family issues. We always think if people just knew what we’ve gone through, they’d cut us some slack. They’d appreciate us more. We want that– that recognition as valuable and prized– but we’re often so unwilling to extend that to other people.

ANYWAY. Now you just went to church with me. Heh. Okay, so afterward, I was really moved. I decided to jog up really quick and talk to the pastor. It didn’t occur to me until two feet away that I had no clue what I was going to say. I was just, “HEY” and I almost ran into him. He looked up. I blanked. Then:

BECCA: Hi, I’m pretty new–

STEVE: Hi, Pretty New! I’m Steve.

BECCA: … no, uh. My name is Becca. I… um.

CRAP. I didn’t expect him to come back with a quip. I was ILL-PREPARED. Suddenly I was twelve again. I just– man, seriously. You should have seen me. I was so lame. It was just me bungling questions and stuttering, and I said I came with my family, and he said, “Oh, your parents are here?” and I was like, “No, no– my family– with me. And my husband, and kids– they aren’t HERE– they’re. Other… places. Places where– they would– normally be. Here. With me. My parents– don’t go. To this place.”

I think in a conversation, I’m the question-asker. I interview other people well. Apparently, that’s his normal role. Just the whole dynamic of talking with him was weird. Not bad, but totally different. I wonder if people ever feel like that talking to me. Like I’m almost too interested in what they’re saying and there’s pressure to keep being interesting.

Elias needs a glass of milk, and has for several paragraphs. I did NOTHING this weekend that I planned, but– besides being sleep-deprived– it wasn’t that bad. I still think next weekend will be better, though. BECKY JO! PUMPKIN PATCH! BOARD GAMES! PG RATED GOOD TIMES!