Jeremiah 30:17.
20 Nov
Warning: this is easily the most graphic and mature entry I’ve ever posted. Please be aware of that. The issues discussed herein are very real and serious, but they are in no way for the faint of heart.
Thanksgiving is coming up this week. Thanksgiving is one of those holidays I sort of sail through on auto-pilot: I make a half-hearted list of things I’m grateful for (our family, our health, pizza, Jesus, “Medium” coming back on the air), and gorge on one to four family dinners. Usually afterward I complain about how fat I am, because I totally ate too much, and put on my favorite sweatpants, sit in front of the computer, and surf Amazon for good Christmas presents.
This morning, though, Meggan‘s site directed me to one of the most horrific articles I’ve ever read. It was one of those things I didn’t want to know, but I had to; I had to be aware that this happened in our world, I had to realize how fucking LUCKY I am to be here in America. I’d been vaguely aware that travesties like this existed, but I had no idea of the extent. The– the inhumane cruelties described… I cried all morning. I am sobbing right now knowing there is a young mother on the other side of the world, a young mother like me, RIGHT THIS SECOND, who is being raped so badly it internally mutilates her. I am crying knowing that there is a good chance they will rape her baby, her Addie; that they will shoot her baby in front of her. I am crying writing this knowing that this happens and no one is stopping it. That, to some degree, we can’t stop it. We can’t find all the radical groups that are doing this. We can’t kill all the evil. I can do damage control, I can donate money, I can pray, I can even become a doctor and perform life-saving operations on these women, but I can’t stop them. I feel so helpless. And, worse, I am not helpless in an equal situation. I am not suffering with these women. I am here, on the other side of the world, reading about it in “Newsweek” on my computer; in my safe, air-conditioned home, in my middle-class neighborhood, where I take my children out each day unafraid, where I sleep each night without fear that my home will be invaded, that they will kidnap me and murder my family.
I worry such a ridiculous amount about this blog. Who fucking cares. Really. I’m a white housewife in one of the richest countries in the world. What I do today– whether I go to my sister’s house to look at her new Ikea furniture, or whether my parents take me out to a nice dinner– it doesn’t matter. If I get two thousand visitors today or two, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. If there is any good that could come from anything I write, it is that you will fight with me– that you won’t look at these women as statistics, but as your mothers, your sisters, your wives, your daughters– that you could take one minute right now and imagine every woman in your life that is precious to you at the hands of these monsters; who violate them, blind them, leave them so scarred they can barely function on a human level. When you are looking at your cherished family over the dinner table this Thursday, be grateful. Just revel in that. Whether you are celebrating Thanksgiving as an American, or you’re from another country where you are safe, comfortable, cared for and it’s just another uneventful day of the year.
I am so upset I don’t think I can type anything else. When Jason gets home, I’m going to donate whatever I can towards the cause, and I urge you to do the same. It’s the best early Christmas present you could give: actual, tactile healing, and a new lease on life.
I cried at this entry, I cried at the news report, I also donated. Everyone else reading this blog, or anyone else who can help should. I’m going to go hug my Mom.
I first heard about fistulas on an Oprah show about a year ago, and though those were obstetric fistulas, it was still so heartbreaking. This is horrific beyond words. All women should talk to everyone they know about this…if we are all mobilized there is no end to the good we could do.
It is a scary prospect being a parent in this world…even when you live in a country like ours, there is heartache and trouble everywhere. Only when we all work to make the WHOLE WORLD (and not just our own small slice of it) safe for children will we be doing enough. We simply must.
This is one of the primary reasons I want to work in Africa. This very story. Rape has served as a weapon of war for centuries but in this day and age, it should freaking stop. It’s becoming a form of genocide. The Janjaweed in Darfur (Arabs) are using it to eradicate the black Sudanese. The Interhamwe used it against the Tutsis in Rwanda. Rape is a disgusting and vile power trip no matter where it happens but the fact that a war is being waged on babies and the elderly alike, simply because their anatomy includes a vagina…and we KNOW it is happening…as a so-called Christian nation, we should be the first in line to stop these atrocities when in fact we are usually the first to turn our back to the situation.
If one takes into consideration ONLY that women in post conflict regions of Africa are widows with no one to turn to and no way to provide for their families, the situation is dire and needs attention. But add to the fact that not only can these women not earn enough income to support their families but that they are stigmatized by rape and often left disabled as a result, the situation cannot be allowed to continue.
In addition to donating to relief organizations (it’s kind of sad just how many there are), I’d also urge people to visit Amnesty International (www.amnesty.org) and Human Rights Watch (www.hrw.org) to read up on D.R. Congo and Darfur. Get involved. Educate yourself. The women of the world need our help.
Now I’m going to shut up and stop soapboxing in your comments
There are no words really.
I have donated.
Becca, I am so happy and thankful you posted this. I truly am. I saw this on Oprah actually, I can’t remember when but I saw the repeat of it recently and the actual episode a while ago. There is a doctor there doing all she can to help these poor women and children going through this. I’m glad someone is because, most people are so selfish and cruel. When you mention Africa I’ve heard way too many times that it’s ‘thier’ fault because it’s where AIDS, etc originated. But, I can tell you from having gone through being raped myself .. no one, and I mean NO ONE no matter what you are doing, wearing, saying.. deserves to go through this. I just thank God everyday it wasn’t to the extent these women are going through. I am going to donate as soon as I can. Thanks for posting this {{ big hugs to you :] }}, I hope more people will open thier eyes and help as well.
I just don’t have words…the complete and total loss of dignity and quality of life is just…too much.
I’ve heard about this for a while, and sadly I’ve been ignorant and haven’t done much at all about it. I have heard about the children in Uganda who have to travel at night for miles and miles to avoid being raped and forced to join armies that would make them kill their families.I have heard about the women raped violently and developing fistulas afterwards, and the brutal circumscision of women and children, and I have ignored all of it.
I want you to know that it’s important for us to not feel unimportant, like this is too big for a simple white housewife or a white teen like me, to handle. You’ve already done something, impacted and influenced all of your readers to do something.
But don’t think you have to be serious all the time, that nobody cares about you looking at Michelle’s new furniture or what Elias said today because there is so much else going on in the world; don’t think that. We cannot think about the atrocities of the world every second of every day, we cannot doom ourselves to that, because then we would be so overwhelmed and rendered unable to look at these crimes against humanity objectively and do something about them.
I hope you understand what I’m saying.
Thank you for posting that link. I’d read about the problem before, and felt completely helpless because I didn’t feel like there was ANYTHING I could do. I can’t even begin to form the words necessary to describe how horrible the entire situation is. Thank you, again.
I felt awful about posting that link because it was so horrible, but I think I’d feel more awful if I hadn’t. People need to know that this goes on in other countries – we need to help.
I’m still in shock about it. Thank you for posting about it, far more eloquently than I could.
good wake-up call for all of us. I’ve been struggling with the same things in my Indian Lit class, reading about the horrible violence done to women during struggles in that region, compounded by the families of the victims being unwilling to take their poor, battered, mutilated women BACK INTO THEIR HOMES. my heart breaks for them, for Africa, for this UNNECESSARY and INHUMAN suffering.
If I had any money to donate, I would. I cannot believe the horrible things that go on there. It said the youngest victim was 12 months old. Two months older than my little girl.
It makes me sick. To think about a grown man doing that to an innocent baby, child, woman, it makes me so angry.
Thank you for writing this.
“actual, tactile healing, and a new lease on life”…I like that. That’s all any of us can hope to do.
i dont like reading the news because they make me so sad and feel powerless but i will NEVER give up on reading about rape because it is the most disgousting thing on earth and i hope one day i will be able to help, in first person, these woman who had been abused. I have read something similar that happened in Iraq, 5 militars raped this 15 years old girl after killing her whole family and the killed her. i couldn’t stop thinking of her for days. everyday, in every country of the world, women are used as objects of pleasures. it is ALWAYS horrible. but what is happening in Congo makes me wanna puke, i couldn’t believe my eyes while reading, i couldn’t believe they fire a gun in their vaginas, thank god in was in english or in my own language i would have puked on the screen because it would have been so much stronger. but in every language, this is the truth, and i hope i can have some of my money soon to donate. i could stay here for hours talking about it, how i don’t get how some people can be so cruel in this world, i just can’t get there with my mind, it is TOO FAR from my mental reality, it is something we can’t understand, what is inside their minds. I just wish they’d die.
Oprah. yes. i saw it on there first too.
it’s trule unbelievable to me how shitty a place this world can actually be.
i’m off to donate now. your’e right. it really is one of the best gifts you can give.
My mom always said, in regards to the things that happen in third world countries, that people over in the states never ask “Why me” when something GOOD happens… only when the bad things. If we asked that question everytime something good happened we’d realize how lucky we all are.
THANK YOU for posting this. I’m opening the webpage right now to make a donation.
I too saw this on Oprah about a year ago and i’m not sure if it was mentioned on her show or I found it somewhere else but there was a ‘novel’ – based on real events there that I read as well. It’s horrible. I think after that I really didn’t stress about anything – just remembered those poor women. I think this reminded me again of how blessed I am.
I’ve came back to your site several times to read this entry. Its just unbelievable what some people are capable of doing. It’s sickening…
I’ll definately have something else to be thankful for tomorrow… For being a citizen of the United States. I will NEVER take for granted the freedoms we have in the country.
Well enjoy your Thanksgiving with your loved ones!! I know I will